Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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