u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
