Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
