i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
do herpes really smell.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
