The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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