hotel room ftw
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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