You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
