What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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