you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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