Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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