stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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