We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
