Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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