Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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