Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
