Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
