A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
