Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
