yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
