yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
