my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
