You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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