he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
