Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
