your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
