ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
