I cockslap morals
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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