Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
