At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
