Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
