My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Soap is not a condiment
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
