what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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