Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
