I want to stick my p in your. b.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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