its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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