my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
