Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
