Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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