that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
