hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
