Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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