everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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