Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Randomize
