Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
