i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
