Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
