He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
