No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
