'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
