maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
