do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
