can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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