she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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